Ok, so there is a lot to catch up on since we last got together.  Yes, last week was a BLUR of work related travel.  Like I've said before, when I'm traveling on the company dime I don't take my personal laptop with me (because I am NOT hauling two laptops on a plane folks) so I can't social network at all.  That means no Facebook, no Twitter, no Blog, nada.  My work devices are completely locked down.  So its always amusing when I get home and y'all have been sending me messages and getting ticked off when I don't respond.  I can't even check personal email when I travel unless I go down to the hotel free computers and log in that way.  And frankly, when we travel its 12 hour days minimum so I'm seriously not in the mood to get online when I get back to the hotel room.  I'm normally asleep within 30 minutes of getting home from dinner.

Sooooo, Florida was great.  I'll probably be down there a good bit next year so those of you in the greater Tampa area, HOLLER.  I'll see you soon!  We already have yet another Denver trip lined up in December (oh hey, SNOW!) so you've been warned folks.  I will be sporadic in the socializing.  And I love you all dearly and it sucks to not be in town in the middle of the week.  So please, lets make plans for the weekends because pretty much thats all I've got free for a while and I need to plan ahead.  

Ok, I've avoided the subject long enough.  Congrats on the loss to UGA, Auburn.  What?  You expect me to congratulate UGA on taking advantage of Auburn handing that game over to them?  Really?  The 2nd half of that game was like watching a train wreck.  Dawg Dude and I were in awe of the stupidity that occurred during that game.  The only good thing about the whole thing was how cute Shug was in his little football jersey.  So, uh, congrats on the "win" UGA.  That's about as far as I'm gonna go with this.  And then this weekend just turned into a train wreck for UGA.  Dawg Dude called me on Thursday right when I was getting in from out of town to let me know that Uga died.  I had JUST heard it on the radio.  Poor puppy was only 4 years old.  I'm telling you, so many people I know who have Bulldogs get their hearts broken when their puppies suddenly pass because of that congenital heart issue that is so prevalent in that breed.  RIP Uga VII.  To quote the Georgia fans, "He was a damn good Dawg."  And then on top of that...UGA lost to Kentucky.  Of course friends are now toying with the idea that Uga VII committed doggie suicide after witnessing the train wreck this season has been.  I, as an Auburn fan, cannot comment on this...however I do sympathize.  There are times when the eagle takes just a bit TOO sharp of a dive when circling the stadium and you wonder...

We interrupt this blog to share a true moment of puppy cuteness:

:::UGA fans will laugh at this - the jersey was so long that when we let Shug out the day of the game he ended up peeing on it.  So we had to wash his little jersey before the UGA game so he could wear it.  Of course that moment looked a little prophetic in hindsight...  Still, SUPER CUTE y'all.:::

In other news, last week I was informed that Bella the Volkswagen Passat is no more.  She has been totaled.  :::moment of gleeful silence:::  Of course I get this call while I'm traveling for work.  So I immediately go into online research mode only to discover that sites like AutoTrader and Cars.com are BLOCKED at work.  WTF?!  After careful discussions with my fellow employees about the need to look at cars from my hotel room at night I also pointed out that some of the sites that our parent company allows us to purchase vehicles through as an employee benefit are also blocked.  HA HA!  I WIN.  So the research began in earnest.  I quickly narrowed down my choices to the Nissan Murano, the Acura RDX, and the Mazda CX-9.  I ended up with a Murano as my rental car while I was in Florida so I got to have the ultimate test drive.  I liked it but I really didn't enjoy how narrow the vision behind the car was.  The back window was really small and it really made seeing behind you difficult.  They compensate by having HUGE rear view mirrors on the car.  So I gave the Murano a 7+.  The Acura RDX had already earned an 8+ in my previous test drive but it required premium gas.  Not a fan.  So I finally test drove the CX-9 this weekend and fell in LOVE.  A co worker had recommended it and shared that he'd been in a similar situation with his choice for a SUV.  The CX-9 doesn't require premium gas, has much better visibility, and has a 3rd row of seats that fold down quite easily for more storage space.  WIN!  So after bargain hunting and driving all over the darn city comparing prices I finally played two dealerships off of one another and used my excellent bargain hunting ability (inherited honestly from Gator Momma and Gator Dad - they trained me well) to convince the dealer I was about to walk.  Suddenly I had the price I wanted for the interest rate I wanted...and a few other perks.  

So without further ado, ladies and gents I introduce you to "Name TBD" - My new 2007 Mazda CX-9 Grand Touring Edition SUV.  Its a dark grey (I believe they call it "Mica") with a black leather interior.  About the only thing missing is a navigation system and frankly, I'm pretty darn good with directions and TomToms are cheap nowadays.  So it definitely wasn't a deal breaker for me. 

Naming a car is no small task and as we saw with the VW Passat, naming her Bella back in 2002 (pre "Twilight" y'all) was not a fortunate decision.  My car was just as clutzy, angsty, moody, and accident prone as she was.  So the name of this beauty will be decided after careful consideration and possibly some hilarious conversation with Girlyfriend over a few glasses of vino.

SO SO MUCH GOING ON!

The Kindle arrived last week while I was out of town and y'all, I'm seriously in love.  I'm now digging through my wallet to find receipts for the unread books that are in my "To Be Read" pile because if there is a Kindle edition I'm so going to return them and save a few bucks.  Not to mention that the Kindle is AWESOME.  I have decided to name her Kiki.  Yes.  Kiki the Kindle.  I can't believe we all aren't using these more often.  The first book I downloaded was, of course, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, because that is my absolute favorite book EVER.  Oh, and its FREE on the Kindle y'all.  Yep, FREE.  So after going a bit crazy with the free downloads I found a few books I'd wanted that were available on the Kindle for HALF the price of their current retail prices and now I'm set for our Thanksgiving road trip.  I also downloaded GRAVE SECRET so I could show the fam where I am in the book!  You can actually "bookmark" a page in a book and even take notes and highlight passages for your own personal clipbook so its an easy way to share that little bit of news with them.  Oh, also, CONGRATS to Charlaine because GRAVE SECRET broke into the New York Times Best Sellers top ten the week of the 15th of November.  WHOOT!  Momma Gator is about to start reading it.  I got my autographed version in the mail right before I left for my business trip.  So fun!

A BIG congrats to Mr. ECU and Auburn Sis on their new town home.  They closed on Friday and moved in yesterday.  I stopped by while in the midst of car shopping and the movers were still unpacking the truck.  The house is GORGEOUS.  I'm so happy for y'all!  

Finally, I saw "New Moon" last night and it was just what we expected.  I may dedicate a full blog to this later this week if I can find the time before heading out of town for Thanksgiving with the family.  I'm sort of waiting for Cleolinda's "New Moon in 15 Minutes" recap for my review because she's freakin' brilliant with her synopses and half the time points out the same things I would in a far far more hilarious way.  In the meantime, I will agree with Dark Diva and Wildcat Belle's opinion of the movie.  The special effects were FAR better than the last movie.  I even liked the Werewolves.  But like the first "Twilight" movie the entire audience was laughing at the moments that were supposed to be serious.  They should have named the movie version "New Abs" instead of "New Moon" - it would have been FAR more accurate.

Now Reading:  On Kiki the Kindle (whoot!) FEAST OF FOOLS - Rachel Caine's Morganville Vampires series, book 4.  I told y'all it would probably be the first book to be read and I meant it.  So far, so good!  Oh, and while I traveled I finished BLOOD DRIVE and THE WATCHER by the fabulous Jeanne Stein.  I'll definitely be downloading the next books in this series on the Kindle if they are available.

So first let me start off by saying I am OK. Really. So no freaking out on me, mmmkay?

Wednesday night I was in a car accident on the Atlanta Downtown Connector. Yeah, where I-75 and I-85 merge and run through the city. The absolute WORST place to have a wreck. There. I was headed northbound right around 7:00 p.m. when traffic in my lane came to a stop. The car in front of me stopped. I stopped. And then...I got to experience that horrifying moment when you look up and realize that the guy behind you is NOT stopping. And the headlights are getting closer...and then you hear the brakes squealing, and within a matter of seconds you close your eyes and :::CRASH:::. Then another :::CRASH::: as my car was slammed into the car in front of me because he hit me so hard. So am like the very smashed middle of a car sandwich. I am rattled. I am shaken. I am ok. My hands are shaking and I had to search through the car to find my cell phone which had been thrown around in the wreck from where it had been sitting on the dash. The Honda Accord that hit me from behind was totaled. The Tahoe that I was pushed into had scratches. My car? Yeah... About that...



The car that hit me looked even worse. Seriously smashed up. I was sore and my neck and back hurt but I could walk away and more importantly, I could drive away. The expensive stinky German car finally did what I'd bought it to do. It protected me in a wreck. Very well. Now I'm waiting to find out if the insurance will pay for the repairs or total the car. We had a rocky 24 hour period where the guy who caused the accident was telling a different story than the other two people involved...but that has, apparently, all been cleared up. So now we wait. I have a "killer" rental car (A Chevy HHR - radical) and the doctor has given me a clean bill of SORE-yet-not-in-major-danger-health. In case Bella the VW Passat is totaled I started test driving cars tonight...but both were more expensive than I'm willing to pay at the moment. Time to keep looking. Although the Acura RDX was DIVINE.

So because I was in the car wreck the decision about whether or not I'm headed to Athens tomorrow was kind of made for me. I can't handle a full day tailgate and a night game right now. All the logistical nightmares aside. Its killing me because this is the first Auburn vs. Georgia game I have EVER missed since I started school. I always go to this game. And pretty much EVERYONE I know is headed to Athens tomorrow. This really blows. I am dealing with a major case of jealousy crossed with a teenage angsty feeling of being left out of the party. So be warned folks...I am probably not going to be in the best mood tomorrow. But I can't not say it - WAR DAMN EAGLE!! Beat the Bulldogs!

And seriously Dawg Dude...I was cracking up laughing today at all the voice mails and the barking. I should have saved them for future blackmail. :)

So yesterday I was about to pull the trigger on yet another purchase of books to feed my addiction and I thought to myself, "Self, you really need to think about this.  Isn't it about time you joined the new technology revolution?"  Self replied, "But we're boycotting Amazon for their sheer stupidity..."  Then my internal bargain hunter leapt out of nowhere and clubbed the self righteous french developer hater to death with her 3 inch bargain heel from Zappos.  Seriously, I love it when my principles go head to head with my bargain sense.  Its hella entertaining.  Sooo, after much debate, reviewing how much I'd spent on books this past year (yes, I actually do manage to keep track of this thanks to the wonders of American Express and their handy online reporting tool) I realized that I'd spent enough money this past year on books to BUY a Kindle.

So it got me thinking...I USED the American Express all this year.  To buy books.  And other such items.  Just HOW many points to I have in that Membership Rewards account of mine?

EUREKA!  There's gold in them there online hills!!!

I had enough points to purchase a next generation Kindle.  So I essentially just got one.  For FREE.  :::let the happy dancing commence!:::

Am I happy that the best electronic reader is from Amazon?  No, not really.  Do I feel like a bit of a hypocrite buying the device FROM them after their book banning "oopsie" debacle earlier this year?  Yep.  Will I regret my Kindle purchase?  Absolutely NOT.  You can download a book in less than a minute, people!  I was running out of space on the BRAND NEW book shelves I just purchased a year and a half ago!  So now I have to patiently wait for my Kindle to arrive in the mail.  I wish I'd thought of this in time to order it before my trip to Tampa next week but alas, I wasn't fast enough on the trigger.  But it will hopefully be here in time for our family trip to Melbourne for Thanksgiving and definitely in time for my trip to Denver in December!  WHOOT!   No more hauling around a bag of books for me!  YEY!

Yes, I read that much. 

As for this weekend...well, I just found out that the Auburn vs. UGA game is going to be a NIGHT game.  Which is awesome because that game used to ALWAYS be a night game.  Except that a) I don't have a ticket, b) I don't have a place to stay, c) I have to be down in Peachtree City the next day to drop Shug off with the family so I can get on a plane that afternoon to fly to Tampa.  Logistics just don't work out if I'm driving back from Athens (in my totally UNreliable car) LATE at night (we're talking 3 a.m. here, minimum!) and then getting up a few hours later to head out of town.  :::woe:::  Part of me just wants to quote the great Lady Chablis, "Two tears in a bucket.  Mother f*(k it."  (Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, y'all) but this is a work trip.  And an important one, at that.  Dangit, I hate being responsible!  :::virtual hissy fit:::

Now Reading:  Just finished the 3rd book in the Morganville Vampire Series:  Midnight Alley.  Its a fascinating concept.  A college town in the middle of nowhere Texas.  Unremarkable for pretty much anything except for the party school reputation...and the fact that the entire place is run by Vampires.  With the capital "V".  Turns out that the town was founded as a "Vampire Preserve" for lack of a better analogy.  The breathing citizens of the town are all under the "protection" of certain vampires...the higher up you go in the town hierarchy, the "better" your sponsor is.  If you leave town, some hoodoo is performed and you forget that you were ever around them.  Its a fascinating concept and the politics are well thought out.  The characters are also well rounded, even if the protagonist is a 16 year old girl.  I've thoroughly enjoyed them so far.  The 4th book might just be my first download on the new Kindle! 

Puppy Update:  Shug had a good morning.  No incidents.  So he's slowly getting to have "real" food again, mixed in with his chicken and rice mixture.  I'll be looking into where I can get the Science Diet food for a discount.  Any suggestions, folks???

I can't believe the Auburn vs. UGA game is THIS weekend.  Where did time go this fall??  This is my favorite game of the year.  I never missed this game while I was in school.  Not once.  Crazy road trip adventures to Athens.  Getting lost on the 10-loop.  Having friends show up in Auburn uninvited with guys expecting to stay in our single sex dorms.  Yeah, good times!

So in honor of that illustrious rivalry with storied traditions that led to some of the best friendships I have...

Countdown to the game!

Forget Tech. UGA's biggest remaining game is Auburn...  This one has got to piss off the Tech fans.  They are in the top 10 and still they get no love.  Hahahaha. 

What UGA fans need to know about Auburn...  What?  Other than we don't have 3 2 mascots? 

The Deep South's Oldest Rivalry   I love walking around Piedmont Park and stumbling across the historic marker that shows the spot where Auburn and UGA played their first football game. 

Bring out the Hoses!  I love how this article attributes the creation of the Arch Society to the acrimony between the schools after Auburn used the fire hoses on the UGA fans who stormed the field.  Hey, lets create a group that copies the school that just treated us like we needed to be tear gassed!  What a great way to protest.  Its a "lovely" leap of logic...that took place after the schools decided to get together for "Better Relations Day" coordinated between the two school's student government / student leadership groups.  So, you know...they wouldn't have riots on campus the next time they played.  Trust.  AFTER that, the UGA group saw the War Eagle Girls and Plainsmen and decided that they wanted a similar group on their campus.  Thus, the Arch Society was born.  How do I know this?  Back in the day I was the Director of Better Relations for Auburn.  I think its in the manual or something.  Oh, and I'm a useless trove of Auburn knowledge.

Niiice doggie!  Good boy!  What most people don't know is that UGA is actually a drug dog.  See that Auburn player?  He got kicked out of school for dealing drugs. 


The Shug Report:  Shug's visits to the vet are becoming a routine around here...which isn't making me very happy.  He's got some GI issues and the Vet is pretty convinced after last month's issues and the new ones that just popped up that he needs to be on a more regular diet to prevent more problems from happening.  Oh yeah...and they FINALLY told me that the food I've been giving him for the last 2 months isn't what he's supposed to be eating.  After I flat out asked and they "didn't have an opinion."  Now they do.  So it looks like we'll be transitioning off of the Wellness Puppy brand and possibly onto Science Diet.  :::woe:::  But hell, its cheaper than these monthly vet bills!!!

Y'all know life has been a BLUR lately.  The week before last, I kept getting emails from some of my fellow Charlatans asking me if I'd read GRAVE SECRET yet.  I hadn't.  I'd been so busy I'd forgotten it was even coming out!  After 4 days of constant questions about what I thought of the book...I got suspicious and finally point blank asked them why they wanted to know...and lo and behold I was informed that there is a character named after me in it!  WHAT?!!?  I ran to Borders and picked up a copy and devoured it on the plane to Denver.  There were a bunch of very familiar names along with mine (yey!) and then THERE I WAS...in print.  Since this is an anonymous blog for a reason I won't tell you who my character is but my real life friends and family can easily find me in there.  And I don't die!  YEY!

As for the book, it was awesome as usual.  GRAVE SECRET is the last of the Harper Connolly series.  While the Sookie Stackhouse books are far more popular, the Harpers have always been darker, edgier, and more intriguing.  This book was a great conclusion to the series that tied up a lot of loose ends and finally resolved the mystery of Harper's sister Cameron's death.  I love the way Charlaine writes mysteries because I can't figure them out ahead of time.  Unlike many authors who I just want to send letters to and say, "Your readers aren't that dumb.  Please stop inserting OBVIOUS clues in the text.  Its insulting."  Charlaine's hints are subtle and often overlooked by many an observant reader.  Many times you come to the conclusion just as the heroine does, if not afterward.  I truly enjoyed the book and will have to get my copy signed since I'm in it!  So fun!  I'd give the book 5 stars even without having a character named after me.  It really was a great read. 

Now I'm off to enjoy the rest of my Sunday.  Shug is taking a nap next to me on the couch after he had a play date with his BFF Newman earlier.  Its time to get some more cleaning done around here!

Ciao!

Classic!!!

Yeah yeah...I am on the blogger bad list.  Its sort of hard to blog when you are traveling on the corporate dime on a totally locked down laptop.  I can't get to anything fun while traveling for work...and then...and THEN...they cut over my Verizon blackberry 5 days early.  So I was cut off from Facebook Mobile and Twitter FIVE WHOLE DAYS before I was ready to let go.  I didn't even get to say goodbye.  :::sob:::  No worries folks, there is no need to panic.  I have the same number as always...its just now on the corporate dime which means no more fun on the corporate mobile device...which basically means I get rid of the Twitter account. 

And lets face it...Twitter has made me a lazy blogger anyway.  Its made a lot of us lazy bloggers (ahem, Cleo...I love you but its true...).

Soooo Denver was great.  There was a LOT of snow (just not while we were there) and so it was all melty melterson and pretty.  Our offices are in a really super nice fancy schmancy part of town (Inverness?) so I got to drive by a Nordstrom Rack every day and I DIDN'T GO IN.  I know...my powers of will are astounding.  We enjoyed lovely meals all 3 nights out.  The first night we just did Flemings (always reliable - Osso Bucco pre fixe...yum!) and then the next night we went to THE FORT and I ended up with a Buffalo Osso Bucco pre fixe :::FAIL:::.  The only thing good about that meal was the wine, the soup...and the view.  They seriously drum a drum and put a rabbit skin hat on the woman or a bison hat with HORNS on the guy for the event that they are celebrating.  I shit you not, they were celebrating events at almost every table that night.  Oh, did I mention they ask you to say, "Huzzah!  Huzzah!  Huzzah!" every time???  There were 4 birthdays, at least 3 anniversaries, and God only knows what the heck else going on.  After a while, we just rolled with it and started gleefully singing along "HUZZAH!" (note, this was AFTER the 2nd bottle of Petit Sirah).  It was like a Ren Fest married the Hoop De Doo Revue.    Our waitress was awesome, but the cheese factor was just a bit TOO much.  You don't go there for the food.  Although they claim to be a fine dining experience...its fine dining for the tourists.  The wine list was QUITE impressive though! 

My last night there I got to catch up with 2 of my sorority sisters who are in Denver now...so we had a Delta Dinner in Denver, y'all.  Sushi!  I think the waitress practically had to beg us to leave.  It was an awesome trip.  I can definitely see why so many people want to move there...

I got home late on Wednesday and went to pick up the Shug-ster from his grandparent's house.  He was such a good boy...per Gator Gran, he only peed in the house once.  I am fairly certain this incident occurred shortly after Gator Dad claimed he taught Shug how to bark, "Go Gators."  My puppy, he's a smartie...

Not much on the agenda this weekend.  I'm still tired from the travel and the new job is really adrenaline filled...which means I'm emotionally and physically exhausted at the end of the day.  Right now I'm enjoying a glass of Alborino, my puppy is curled up next to me...and I'm ready to fall asleep already.

Sweet dreams, y'all...

So I've been called out by a few of my friends for not blogging.  Then again, there are many of you who tell me that I blog SO much that you can't keep up.  Eh.  C'est la vie.   Its feast or famine, people.  Life is a roller coaster and right now I'm on one of those endless loops (on the feet dangling kind) where every once in a while you get to spot the ground so you don't throw up.  My role at work is changing (for the better - whoot!) and I'm in the middle of a transition.  Training someone on my old work while slowly getting up to speed on my new area...the official announcements finally came out last week so my new teams now know.  Its very fun but I'm working crazy hours.  When I get home I barely have the time to eat and take care of Shug.  Oh yeah, and I also volunteer in addition to my real job.  I know, I've gotten a LOT off of my plate but the other stuff is still really demanding.  Bleh.  The good news is that I found a Doggie Day Care that I like a LOT.  Shug is officially approved (he got straight A's on his temperment test!) and so he's going to go for fun on their discount days when I can take him.  He's totally exhausted after I pick him up for at least 24 hours, so thats a WIN for Mommy.

Sooooo these past weekend have been full of fun but a whirlwind.  This past Friday I hung out with Canadian Bacon (and of course Mini Molson and Molson Light) and introduced her to the wonders of Dr. Horrible.  She said she liked it.  But then again many of my friends tolerate my geekery.  And I love them for it...  So Saturday I ran errands and the Shug-ster spent a few hours playing with his new buddies at Dogma.  I was on a mission...my challenge was to create my Halloween costume from my own closet.  The problem was that I'd decided to be Kim Zolciak from the Real Hot Mess Housewives of Atlanta.  Uhh...I sort of don't dress like her, ever.  So Girlyfriend lent me the blonde floozy wig and I had the jeans, coat, boots, and makeup.  My challenge was to find a bustier (on sale!) and cheap Kim Bling-Bling accessories.  SUCCESS!  :::Ironically, the bustier I found was purple and gold (LSU colors for my non football loving friends) and then Auburn proceeded to have their butts kicked while I was in Kim-persona.:::  I ended up in a blonde wig, stripper makeup with insane eyelashes and bubble gum pink lip gloss, purple and gold bustier, 7 jeans, a long coat, a faux Juicy Couture crystal pendant (Klassy with a 'K' for Kim!), an engagement ring from Big Poppa, a bottle of chardonnay, and a pack of ciggys.  "Don't judge me because I smoke in front of my babies!  And don't be tardy for the party!"  So there ya go.  It was a stark opposite of my Sarah Palin glory last year.  There were many awesome costumes and great company.  Ciao Bella and Hannibal are always awesome hosts so trust me when I say we had a good damn time.  Sunday was recovery day and unfortunately more work...

So whats next?  Well, I'm off to Denver for work next week (I've never been there before!  What will I pack!?!  It SNOWS there!) and then down to Tampa the week before Thanksgiving.  So there's that.  Lots of travel coming.  Shug is going to be spending time with his Puppy Grandparents down in Peachtree City.  I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful family.  Although I sometimes take them for granted, of course they know how much I appreciate them.  

Gotta run, Shug is shredding one of his toys. 

Now reading:  I just finished the latest VAMPIRE ACADEMY novel BLOOD PROMISE, and before that the first novel in the Anna Strong series, BECOMING by the always gracious, lovely, and helpful Jeanne Stein.  Trust me when I say that you should read her books.  She's just as lovely as Charlaine and its a pleasure to know her as a person as well as an author.  

***always a classic.  The LSU Fans smell like corn dogs began years ago on message boards and spread virally via email.  It was started by a friggin' hilarious Auburn fan and now other schools have picked it up.  To my knowledge this is the original.  I don't know who the original author is (If you know, tell me.  I'd LOVE to shake his hand!) so I can't give him credit.  Every year I send this to an Auburn fan who hasn't seen it yet and their inevitable reaction is to bust out laughing.  I forwarded it to a few co workers yesterday and could hear their laughter across the office.  So, without further ado...

LSU Fans Just Smell Like Corn Dogs

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.

Yes, it is often said, but so, so true.

LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.

I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something better said at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.

I am afraid that they'll know I said it. I'll walk past an LSU fan someday, and he'll see that look in my eye that gives it away. That look that says, "gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?" The next thing you know, I'll have flat tires on my car.

If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU fans how they smell - you know, like corn dogs.

LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.

I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, "Wow, LSU sure does have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game."

It's hard. I know. It's like when you're having sex and you try to think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming. It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: "Gee, I wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like a corn dog?"; or "Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying to make me think it is a real person?" or "What did that giant corn dog just say?" or "Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly like corn dogs smell?" or, of course, after a silencer: "Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?"

Heck, after what I've heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That's okay.

You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them. They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But don't be obvious about it. Somehow they know you're trying not to breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They'll likely punch you for that if they catch on to what you're doing.

If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it'll permeate your whole body, and then you'll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But don't say, "Dang, now I smell like a corn dog." They take offense to that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff. Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get stitches or something. Just don't say it. If you do start smelling like a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?

I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in their expression - indicating they smell corn dogs - might get a wrench or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that's dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as you drive - on some other weekend.

I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog stuff. What puzzles me most is that I've never actually seen any of these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there's no mystery there - maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows?

Maybe there's a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there. Maybe, there's a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume. Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply - kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird.

The big political issue during the city election is whether they should add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don't comment on it though. It's not politically correct over there. It's like a malnutrition issue or something. It's like the corn dogs are probably added to the water to prevent starvation or something.

I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you're thinking: "Ahhhh. Here I am in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I'll bet the people here smell just like boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe' or some fancy Cajun food." But just stop thinking that. That's just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.

In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn dog odor. And don't try masking the odor with something stronger. They'll curse at you. They'll say something like: "WTF, how dare you smoke a cigar in my home," or "WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of corn dogs?" and they'll cuss out your kids too: "WTF!!! Little Mister fancy pants over here acts like he doesn't want to smell like corn dogs."

Cajuns are not like us. Don't you see that, yet? They are really sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all. I know, I know. We sniff the bammers and the UGA dawgs and the Ole messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don't press your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don't refer to Death Valley as corn dog valley either. I mean that's just wrong. Even if you've been drinking, they'll beat you up and curse out your kids.

Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction - even if you're laughing about something else. Like baseball or football, or sex or whatever. If you can't control yourself and you must laugh though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their corn dog body odor from a distance or that you're choking on it or something. They'll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus building over just one snort.

So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams. You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.

Enough with this corn dog talk. Let's play ball...

As for the Bama vs UT game today...I am gonna have to stick with what I know.  I have far too much orange in my wardrobe to not cheer for UT.  Besides, the rest of the year I have a lot of friends and co workers that are HUGE UT fans...and Bama?  Eh, not so much...  Am I the Queen of the understatement today or what?  The thought of ME, mildly hating Alabama is like saying that Newt Gingrich is a moderate republican.  But I have to give it to the Bama fans...  Hangin' Tough just posted this via Twitter and I almost spit my coffee on the screen laughing:

That is the actual newspaper today in Tuscaloosa.  Bless!! 

***I'm off to complete the assembly of my Halloween costume.  I'm going as Kim from the Real Hot Mess Housewives of Atlanta.  Girlyfriend lent me her blonde wig.  Now I just need a few other items to make the ensemble perfect. 

Wow October.  October be CRAY-CRAY with Birthdays!  This week has been a blur and I'm still mentally curled in a fetal position over the loss to Kentucky on Saturday night.  Ironically I had a long overdue brunch with my fabulous sorority sister-friend Kentucky Alumna, Wildcat Belle :::dubbed::: on Sunday.  When I complimented her on the win the previous night, she honestly had forgotten that Auburn and Kentucky had even played one another.  Bless.  I love her all the more for that.  Before brunch with my UK friend, I did the Georgia Apple Festival up in Ellijay with Captain Fabulous and company...and the night before that I did the V.I.Pink party at Tongue and Groove with Dark Diva.  So, so, SOOO much going on that Monday actually felt like a relief.  So my weekend, whoah...but more importantly, the month of October is one of my favorites because some of my favorite people were born.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OCTOBER BABIES!
Girlyfriend
Gator Momma
Dancin' Queen
Miss Thang
Mermaid Girl
Neighbor Girl
Hangin' Tough
Superman
Nawlin's Tiger

So many more but these are the core!  The ones I will always have in my heart and on my mind.  So for those of you who don't want a big fuss, happy birthday.  For those of you who want a big FUSS...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!  YOU ARE AWESOME!  I LOVE YOU LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE!!

More bloggery to come this week, I hope.  I've just been very very busy (in many good ways).  So if I don't check in, its because I'm either celebrating the awesomeness of one of the people above, at a Halloween party, or still swamped with work.

Toodles!
And seriously, HAPPY Birthday all you October babies.  :::mwah!!!:::

Seriously folks, sometimes I consider going on the Atkins Diet just for the sheer thrill of being able to eat a pound of bacon and be on a diet.  Breakfast meats rule, and bacon is the King of breakfast meat.  So is it any wonder that I'm craving some bacon this morning?  The really good fatty kind, not the turkey sausage I keep in the fridge...BACON.  Auburn is playing Arkansas today, its time to eat some Pig!!  :::laughing at the ESPN analysts trying to pronounce Baton Rouge with an authentic accent.  Bless!:::

So without further ado, on with my picks:

Auburn vs. Arkansas:
Y'all have already seen my historical opinion pieces on Petrino.  You know I think he's a total ass hat.  Ironically, even ACC fans like Dark Diva, who normally are aware of SEC match ups but really don't get too passionate about them.  She made sure to let me know this morning that Auburn should "Kick Petrino's ass."  Yep folks, she's a Falcon fan and this is personal.  I've said it in the past, I really have nothing against Arkansas fans.  They were always nice whenever we played them.  Too bad the entire campus clearly is suffering from Swine Flu (and we know the Gators already got over that - thanks ESPN for showing them throwing up on tv - that was great!  :::hurk:::) However now they are clearly under the influence of a minion of Hell, so we have to view them all like those people with the crazy black eyes in "True Blood."  Sometimes they might just be innocently humping a tree, but the next minute they are trying to sacrifice some innocent PIG in the woods.  (Ahh yes, I found a way to bring my geekery into football!  Giddyup.)  So in the words of Andy Bellefleur (LSU fan), "I KNOW THAT PIG!!"  Me too, Andy.  And its tasty bacon.  Mmmmm, bacon.  


Georgia vs. Tennessee:
Well this one is an easy pick.  The Bulldogs will roll into Neyland Stadium, pissed off about last week's complete bullshizzle call (thanks for the apology, SEC refs.  How about a DO OVER?!) and Tennessee is still trying to find their rhythm.  Don't let the score of last week's Auburn vs. UT game fool you.  Tennessee scored in the last SECOND of the game when half the stands were clearing out.  The team was already heading to the locker room.  So it was a, "Hey look.  They scored.  Oh well..."  moment.  Lane Kiffi-kins is going to learn a lesson in manners from the Deacon of the SEC.  Lane, you may have a hot wife but Mark Richt has Jesus.  You know, that dude that Tim Tebow is BFF's with?  That guy.  So keep talkin' smack.  Mark Richt will just politely smile and then smack you upside your ass with his bible after he's thumped you into submission again.  The season is at the half way point and Kiffin is finally starting to realize that its not a cake walk to coach in the SEC.  Meanwhile, Phil Fulmer is sitting at home laughing his ass off and eating more donuts.  (The only worry that NYC Bro has about UGA playing in a day game is the fact that Joe Cox is so white, he may spontaneously burst into flames.  True, brother mine.  I sat there last week wondering if he even had eyelashes.  Seriously, I'm not sure I've ever seen a whiter white boy.  His hair is ORANGE, not red.  Which is damn ironic since that color is verboten in Athens.)

Alabama at Mississippi:
You know what would be entertaining before this game?  Take a camera crew into the crowd and asking Alabama fans to spell MISSISSIPPI.  Hilarity ensues.  I'm laughing just thinking about it.  The Bama fans won't know what to do with themselves when they see the tailgates set up with the silver and crystal.  I will hand it to the Ole Miss crew, they know how to do it up HIGH COTTON.  So today's game is a class war.  The upper crust Mississippi Blue Bloods against the Alabama Rednecks.  Normally, I'd go with a redneck in this situation because they are armed and dangerous but they are in Oxford and that means they are playing by the Mississippi rules.  Which means they have a judge (yes, seriously, I met him!) and all the refs in their pockets.  This will be like one of those movies when everyone is SO polite to the new person in town, yet they constantly get nothing done and everything goes wrong.  Yep, welcome to the Old South.  If you haven't lived here for at least 5 generations, you're new...  Hottie tottie, Ole Miss! 

Georgia Tech at Florida State:
Normally I wouldn't even care about this game because I hate FSU and I'm seriously enjoying watching them go down in flames.  But this week I saw an article that blew my frickin' mind.  Florida State fans are planning a black out...in support of ousting Bobby Bowden from his position at head coach.  Are you out of your damn minds?  Florida State was NOTHING before Bobby Bowden came down to Tallahassee.  He MADE your program.  Yes, you're getting your asses handed to you but show some respect.  This is such a FSU thing to do.  I mean, we all know that the FSU fans aren't the classiest folks but this may bump them up the scale a notch or two.  Most alums are appalled, and rightly so.  This sense of entitlement from the students is a blatant lack of respect and a seriously deluded attempt to influence an administration who is going to support their coach.  All the black out will accomplish is to show that your fans have no class, FSU.  This isn't some new coach that was hired and has no record.  He's an ICON.  Yes, even Gator Dad was appalled by this.  We actually have friends of the family that lived across the street from him who were Gator Alums.  Ultimately he's a lovely man and he has handled this situation with grace and poise.  He's won 311 games in 34 seasons at FSU.  Yes, he's not coaching his team right now (we all know this) but you let him retire in dignity.  Look at Penn State.  You would NEVER see their fans pull this kind of shit on Joe Pa.  FSU, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  I seriously hope that Georgia Tech kicks FSU's ass all over the place and then the FSU players go into the stands and kick the ass of the idiots who are organizing this event.  So stay "clASSy" FSU.  Emphasis on the A-S-S.

Florida vs. LSU:
The ESPN College Game Day crew just made a big deal out of the fact that the LSU fans have ordered 20,000 pounds of Gator meat for their tailgates.  What they fail to realize is that Gator meat is a staple in Louisiana.  This isn't exactly an odd occurrence.  They are called the BAYOU Bengals for a reason, folks.  Bless your Yankee hearts, ESPN film crew.  Hey LSU fans, make sure to show them a nutria while they are down there too.  That will really freak them out.  "Welcome to Louisiana, we eat crazy shit here!"  So anyway, the Gators are playing in the OTHER Swamp.  The sign outside should say, "Welcome to Death Valley, its loud here.  Don't forget your rain slicker.  Oh, that's not rain falling on you..."  There's always a debate between my fellow SEC fans about who has the most classless fans.  Inevitably it comes down to LSU and Florida (much to my Gator Family's chagrin and they are noted exceptions to this - they are actually embarrassed by the behavior of fans of their Alma Mater.  We wish we could say it was just the people who didn't go to school there but...well, that wouldn't be true.).  I've had stuff thrown at me by Florida fans, but I've seen a LSU fan pee on someone so there ya go.  Everyone is obsessed about Tim Tebow's concussion.  What they aren't talking about is the group on Florida's campus who are now actively filling out the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize application for him.  I mean, if Obama can win it after less than a year in office, Tim Tebow can definitely win it!  Jesus Saves!  The Power of Christ compels you, Nobel committee!  He works with orphans!  He does a MEAN "Braveheart" impression!  He circumcises babies!   I mean, if the Nobel committee can be impressed by speeches (which at the time of Obama's nomination and subsequent win was all they had to go on!) then hell, Tim Tebow is a SHOE in.  His speeches are epic!  So I don't think there is a doubt in my mind that Florida will win this game.  Even if Tim Tebow doesn't play in this game, he'll be on the sidelines bursting blood vessels in his forehead with his inspirational speeches which will spur the Gators on to a win.  Norwegians, take notice!  LSU fans are in for a major shock tonight in Death Valley.  Florida's bench is deep.  LSU barely squeaked out a win (with some MIRACLE calls, I might add) in Athens.  Trust me when I say that the SEC refs aren't going to be making that mistake twice.   Unless a player bounces a ball off of the opposing teams mascot's head, they are going to let the celebration happen.  And Gators, while tasty treats in Tiger Town, are still dangerous creatures. And we aren't talking about Gators from gator farms, we are talking about big nasty full grown Swamp Gators.  Who like the taste of corn dogs.  

"Like whoah!"


Enjoy your game day, y'all.  I know I will!

WAR DAMN EAGLE!

Special shout out to Dawg Dude and Mr. UGA for some inspiration in today's blog...probably not the twist you were hoping for though.  LOL

P.S. - I totally made up the whole Tim Tebow for the Nobel Prize thing...but really, if Obama can win the prize at this point (and I'm an Obama supporter, y'all) then Tebow can win it too!  

So here we are, almost on the anniversary of the day that Tony Franklin was summarily given the old "heave ho" in Auburn last year and suddenly a very similar offense is getting LOTS of praise.  People are declaring that Gene Chizik is the next coming.  The coming of what?  I am pleased.  I am cautiously optimistic.  But folks, Terry Bowden went undefeated in his first season. 

The recruiting is starting to look decent...  My internal Oscar the Grouch may start to pop her head out of the garbage can a bit more if this keeps up...

Let me state this, for the record...I'm a dyed in the wool, DIE HARD, tried and true, orange and blue, AUBURN FAN.  

But as Dawg Dude so accurately pointed out earlier today...I'm also a realist.  One who has had her national championship dreams dashed before.  So please, stop declaring Auburn anything, let us be the Cinderella or "sleeping Giant" quietly.  Because if we end up on the cover of ESPN the Mag or Sports Illustrated we are totally hosed.

I'm just sayin....

War Damn Eagle!

Update:  Shug is now back from the Vet and on two kinds of meds for his upset tummy.  The good news, its not a virus.  The bad news...its probably all the stuffing he's been eating out of all of his toys, no matter how often I threw them out the instant he ripped them open. 

Now Reading:  I just finished the first 3 urban werewolf books and they were good.  I'm now reading a great little anthology by some authors that are pretty damn awesome.  Too lazy to go upstairs and look right now though...

So for those of you who have kept up with me, you know I'm a Mod for a certain author (she who is most awesome).  As of earlier this week, I am officially a Mod Emeritus.  Yes folks, its time for this chica to step down and hand off the keyboard and scepter of mighty mighty Moderator justice to the next generation.  The real world started encroaching on my online fun and well, the real world wins every time.  (Damn them.)  I'm very proud of the time I spent working for Ms. H and I am so grateful for all the friends I have made via her site.  I'll still be active in the community y'all, never you fear.  But the site traffic was getting more and more crazy (and the "True Blood" stuff was out of friggin' control!) and the Mod duties were clashing with, well, everything else.  Good things are happening at work so I truly can't complain there.  I just count my blessings and thank Sweet Baby Jesus that I have them.  Love to all my darlin' Charlatans.  Cali Girl is a great choice for a new Mod and I'm still around ("I'm not dead yet!").

Hugs, love, bunnies, and sparkly stuff...
ASB
SassySouth

Life gets in the way of posting blogs on the day I want to.  So I'm remiss in wishing Miss YankeeSouth a happy 31st birthday!  Last year we were all in NYC with her and Alex P. Cheatin and this year I felt like I was missing out reading all the tweets and blog posts about her birthday.  She's a wonderful cook and baker.  In her honor, I made BLONDIES (yes folks, she's our golden girl) with a Sassy South twist on the recipe.  I can't make pretty cupcakes like she does because frankly, I don't have the attention span or the patience for all the detail work.  I could do two, maybe 3 of the cupcake concoctions she comes up with.  They are little pieces of art.  But I can make some killer good tasting food.  I just leave the presentation and artistry to my Martha Stewart loving girlfriends.  When icing has to be piped on or artfully applied...I'm out.  So while these were'nt the pretties blondies in the world...they are damn good.  I toyed with the idea of mailing them but they are super gooey deliciousness.  So I have to settle for just posting the recipe (yes, pink swirly candles just for her!):



Miss YankeeSouth's Ultimate Decadent Blondies:

2 cups packed brown sugar
1 cup lightly chopped fresh roasted pecans (Georgia ones, of course!)
3/4 cup of toffee bits
1 cup semi sweet chocolate chunks, frozen
2/3 cup butter or margarine
2 eggs lightly beaten
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda

Heat the butter and brown sugar in a medium sauce pan over medium heat, stirring constantly
Once all the sugar is melted down, remove from heat and let the mix cool slightly
Slowly add the beaten eggs to the sugar mixture, add the vanilla
Add the flour, baking powder, and baking soda
Once all mixed, dump the toffee chips and pecan bits into the mix and fold gently
Pour the batter into a greased baking dish
Top the mix with the frozen chocolate chunks
Bake at 350 degrees for 30-45 minutes, depending on the size of your dish.
When a toothpick inserted 2 inches away from the edge of the pan comes out clean, your blondies are done if you like them gooey
When a toothpick inserted in the center of the pan comes out clean, your blondies are done if you like them cake like

Serve warm with a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Miss YankeeSouth.  Your friendship is such a blessing.  You truly are my Sunshine friend.

Love you!

I love game day!  Its my favorite day of the week.  I savor it.  Getting up early on Saturday morning to have my coffee and watch "ESPN College Game Day" (built by the Home Depot, y'all!) is always a must.  That is if I'm not already down on the Plains or in another college town FOR the game.  I haven't made it down to Auburn yet, much to my dismay.  I've had tickets offered to me for almost every game.  I had to turn down four free tickets yesterday for tonight's Ball State game because no one wanted to go down to Auburn for a night game against Ball State.  Myself included.  I know, I'm staring a Gift Horse in the mouth.  But really, that is a long ass day (you don't get home until after 3 a.m.) and I did it a few times by myself and almost fell asleep behind the wheel the last time I was driving home.  Add that risk on top of my unreliable POS of a car and I won't be making that trip solo, let alone in my car.  So I have to content myself with watching the games on the television today.

Onnnnn with the show!

First off - I cannot believe I haven't seen Hannibal or Ciao Bella yet this season.  Whats up, yo?  No football watching love for me?  When are we all going to get together to watch a game, eh?  Mr. UGA, this also applies to you!  Hello??  Where's the love?

So first, the schadenfreude...  Ole Miss got beat by South Carolina.  The really shocking thing is that no one is really shocked about it.  Most SEC fans just sort of giggled and enjoyed watching Ole Miss, who EVERYONE knew was far overrated at #4 (seriously pollsters, #4?) get beat by South Carolina.  South Carolina?  The only thing they are good for is the comments by Steve Spurrier.  The overwhelming reaction from everyone I talked to was, "Ha!  How about Ole Miss getting beat by South Carolina?  Wasn't that fun to watch??"  Yes, yes it was.  The Ole Ball coach got a pseudo "signature win" but not really.  That win was the equivalent of fools gold.  You think its real...but then you find out its just pyrite.  Ole Miss was pyrite.  This isn't even really worth talking much more about.  

Auburn vs. Ball State
Four years ago, my happy butt would have been down on the Plains for this game.  It would have been interesting.  Heck, even last year I'd have probably taken those free tickets and headed down because Ball State was relevant.  This year?  Eh.  Not so much.  So for those of y'all who are going to be down there for this shellacking, more power to ya.  Auburn wins by a shit ton.  Yes, this is an official metric.  Where is Ball State, anyway?  Does anyone really care?  Its in Muncie, Indiana.  Bless.  I just still love to say it.  BALL State.  :::LOL  Yes, its preschool humor.  My guy friends still think poop and fart jokes are hilarious.:::  Oh goody, its a 90% chance of rain tonight in Auburn!  I'm so glad I'm not going down there.  Its going to be miserable.  Welcome to the South, we have torrential downpours for WEEKS!  Atlanta is still draining out and there is more rain coming.  :::woe:::

LSU vs. Mississippi State
Well, everyone refers to Mississippi State as the bottom feeders of the SEC.  Don't take it too personally Bulldogs.  Catfish are also bottom feeders and catfish are delicious!  So really, the Cajuns are going to eat them alive.  This game is actually on right now so I'm watching the beat down game currently in progress.  You know what we need?  We need MORE COW BELL Mississippi State.  If you had MORE COWBELL I think you'd stand a chance in this game.  Because the half drunk LSU fans would not be able to stand the noise and might flee the stadium.  I think the thing that will keep Mississippi State in this game is their defense.  Because LSU isn't lookin' so hot this year.  I think they are also overrated at #7.  I have much love for other SEC schools but LSU hasn't shown me that Cajun Fried South Louisiana goodness we've come to expect from our Bayou Bengals.  I predict LSU wins this game, but its going to be a slobber-knocker.

UGA vs. Arizona State
You know, I have the same feeling about this game as I do about the Auburn vs. BALL State game.  Arizona State was relevant, a few years ago.  Now?  Ehhhhh...you just feel bad for their fans because according to weather predictions its going to be wet and rainy in Athens tonight.  My next door neighbor (not Neighbor Girl, the other side) is an adorable Georgia fan and called me this morning to come over and help taste her pimiento cheese.  She was leaving for Athens soon and hadn't ever made it before.  I have NO idea how someone can claim to be a Southern Belle and have never made pimiento cheese but there ya go.  She also didn't have any hot sauce, which I of course had...in many varieties with back up in the pantry.  Hello, its damn hard to make hot wing dip without Louisiana Hot Sauce.  So she and her hubbie are off to Athens for the game.  I'm sure all the UGA boys are on their way up to Athens right now and I hope y'all packed your ponchos.  I have one girlfriend who is celebrating her birthday tonight at a sports bar just so she can watch this game.  Bless.  So its an easy pick.  UGA wins, although I don't think its going to be by a huge amount.  I think they are already looking ahead to the LSU game next weekend.  But since its going to be raining and the Arizona State SUN DEVILS don't do well in a wet environment...I predict the Dawgs win.  

UNC vs. Georgia Tech
Welcome to Atlanta, Tar Heels.  Its not basketball season so most of their fans get confused and head towards the Philips Arena, remembering that that is where the Final Four games are played.  Uh, no.  Bobby Dodd Stadium is thattaway.  Nerds beat the smart rich kids.  Not by much.

Arkansas vs. Alabama
Well NYC Bro...the way you feel about Auburn...I kind of feel about Arkansas.  So there ya go.  I won't use the same language you used to describe my Alma Mater, ahem, but I will equate your feelings about Auburn to my feelings about Arkansas.  Mississippi State isn't worth notice...but Arkansas?  Yes, that one I care enough about to hate.   Of course they didn't even show up as a blip on my hate meter until Petrino took the job there.   (Not their fans though.  Their fans have always been nice.)  Saban vs. Petrino.  This game makes the devil sit up and take notice.  He's watching two of his minions battle it out against one another.  Who wins?  This one could be a battle.  I am, of course, cheering for injuries.  Especially ones for key players who won't be able to suit up when they play Auburn.  What?  You think I'm wanting to play FAIR this season?  Hayl naw. I'll take what I can get.  So souuuuiiiieee, PIG.  Beat Bama!  I think the people watching down in Tuscaloser will be epic.  Lots of overalls and wife beaters.  Someone, please take a camera phone.  It will be like a People of Walmart fashion show!  Side Note:  Due to pure morbid curiosity this morning, I did a quick impromptu poll of all the people I'm friends with on Facebook this morning who are saying, "Roll Tide" or something else about Alabama football in their statuses.  How many actually attended school there (note I do not say graduate)?  Four.  Gotta love the bandwagon fans. 

Florida vs. Kentucky
I have always loved that Dawg Dude called Kentucky the KY Jellycats.  Cracked me up every time.  Apparently the Gators are suffering from a mass outbreak of flu like illness.  Swine flu?  Regular flu?  Respiratory illness?  Either way, not good.  Tebow is apparently so ill he's traveling separately from the team so he won't get anyone else sick.  What I want to know is why he's traveling at all if he's that ill.  Wow.  Anyway, I think Tebow being ill will impact the Gators...but not enough to lose to Kentucky.  Because lets face it, we'd all rather watch Kentucky play UF in a basketball game  than on the gridiron.  Kentucky fires off the canons when they score and I predict they won't be using much ammo during this game.  Because even with their team being sick, Florida has a deep depth chart.  

Tennessee vs. Ohio (no, not that one, the other one)
This is going to be a pistol whipping.  This is Ohio, not Ohio STATE.  Bier Girl and Thriller Man are Ohio State fans.  So is Buckeye Belle :::dubbed::: who also ACTUALLY went to school there.  Hi honey!  I love alumni fans!  But this isn't Ohio State.  This is Ohio.  Who will be annihilated by UT.  The only thing that Ohio U has going for them is that the college town they are from is also called Athens.  UT?  They are still licking their wounds from last week and Lane Kiffin needs a win.  I hope they show some good offense during this game so we have more game tape to study before Auburn plays them next week in Knoxville.  Because really, this is going to be like a dress rehearsal for UT.  UT wins, BIG.

Florida State vs. South Florida
Normally I wouldn't even post anything about this game because I hate Florida State, but they are currently LOSING to South Florida so I have to enjoy the moment.  HAHAHAHAH.

Ok, time to go off and get some football watching in.  Its going to be a miserable rainy day so I can at least get some cleaning done while I'm enjoying the games before heading out tonight. 

War Damn Eagle!

So y'all know I love me some award shows.  For the past few years, I've normally ended up watching the red carpet for the Emmy Awards with another fellow pop culture and television watcher like Walkin' Girl.  Since I was in Golf Cart Heaven with the fam, it was interesting to try to get my red carpet watching in between welcome visits from Shrek and Princess Fiona, Shug wanting to go outside, NFL games being on, and Gator Momma servin' up some lobstah.  Yeah baby, we had lobstah.  Well, Mom and I enjoyed it.  Gator Dad says he doesn't like to work for his food.  :)

So I had fun watching this year's Emmy's and wanted to share a few of my favorite moments with you.

First off...the fashion! 

Holy Hot Mess - Bad Kitty!

- Leighton Meister is a gorgeous girl. Can you see her underneath all that dress and makeup AND hair??  The dress is bad enough but then they put all that makeup on her and it was just toooooo much.  Simplify.

Nerds everywhere shrieked over the Princess Leia braid:

As opposed to her Gossip Girl costar who could use a little stitching to keep the dress held together.  I highly recommend Girlyfriend's sewing skills.  When you got a plunging neckline, double sided tape and some needle and thread work wonders, trust.

***Sidebar - Gator Momma drew an erroneous conclusion that I was somehow physically ACCOSTED and my dress was torn at Dragon*Con when I encountered the Monk and the Pirate.  No, I just had a maxi dress with a low cut bust line on that I wore as a test run.  At the end of the day, even with double sided tape, it was agreed it needed to be sewn up.  I was even pretty modestly dressed compared to some of the girls in costume, but it was NOTHIN' compared to Blake above.  Girl.  Wow.  J Lo just sat up and took notice.***

I don't know who is trying to bring back the Marie Antoinette style Paniers but they need to be stopped, FAST:


My personal favorite of the evening:

Classic.  Elegant.  With a hint of fun because of the color and the beading.  As Captain Fabulous would say, "GORG!"

So now onto the really good stuff...the show itself.  Now personally, I cannot fathom that "True Blood" wasn't nominated.  I mean come ON Emmy voters!!  Season 1 was amazing.  The writing alone needed to be recognized.  Ahem.  But anyway.

Everyone agreed that Neil Patrick Harris was a GENIUS choice for the host.  His opening act was hilarious.  His witty comments were made of win.  When he interviewed John Cryer (who will ALWAYS be Duckie to me!) who beat him in his own category I knew we were in for a treat. 

And then...le STACHE!

Ok Sarah Silverman, I forgive you the paniers above because the stache is made of WIN.  I have NO idea how you kept a straight face when they showed you as a nominee but I salute you!  The only thing even funnier would have been Matt Damon sitting next to you with his fake stache on from his new movie, "The Informant".  

BEST MOMENT EVER:  
Annnnnnd then I scared Gator Mom and Gator Dad because I literally hopped up in down in my chair over this moment of WIN!


Dr. Horrible broke into the presentation!!  WIN WIN WIN!  Joss Whedon, I love you for letting them do this.  And yes, they did win the Emmy. 

So for those of you who need a frame of reference and have some free time on your hands and LOVE you some Joss Whedon (Gator Dad, this means YOU), here's some awesome served with a side of radical for ya.  "Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog" in its entirety.  This was one of my favorite moments at Dragon*Con - their sing-a-long with the Sing-A-Long was genius.  Felicia Day's guest appearance was just the icing on the cake of win.

***For those of you who aren't familiar with watching video online - make it full screen by mousing over the video after you hit play and clicking on the box at the top right corner of the screen.***



Now watching:  "The Guild" - Another webisode featuring a Joss Whedon alum, Felicia Day, our "Dr. Horrible" heroine.  Its hilarious.  I don't play World of Warcraft or any of those other online games but I know quite a few people who do so I found it particularly humorous.

Well here we are on Monday and yes, for those of you who are watching the news and are aware that the south east is getting a record amount of rainfall.  The last time we had flooding like this in Atlanta was after Hurricane Ivan.  Y'all see a hurricane on the radar?  Nope.  Its just been raining...for DAYS.  And it ain't stoppin'.  I just saw news footage of people in a row boat using a WEED WHACKER as a motor.  Damn, we rednecks are crafty folk.  A dude rescued his cat by floating it out of his house on a bean bag.  Too bad his lava lamp didn't survive.  But you can bet your ass if there was a football game to be played in weather like this, it would be played. 

Oh wait, it was!! 

Did y'all SEE the footage from the Auburn vs. West Virginia game on Saturday?  Take a look at THIS video and come back.  The singing in the distance?  That is the Auburn student section.  When they EVACUATED the stadium (yes, evacuated - in all my years as an Auburn fan I don't think thats ever happened) the majority of the students stayed and partied their asses off in the rain.  They sang along to the music and kept their energy level up the entire game.  It was originally a 7:45 p.m. EST kick off.  The bottom fell out beforehand and the stadium was evacuated because there was a severe weather advisory.  They had to wait until 30 minutes after the last confirmed lightning strike before they could kick off.  So at 8:49 p.m. EST the game finally got started.  And I sat on the edge of my seat, thanking God I wasn't down there in the rain, praying to GOD our defense finally realized that Noel Devine is one fast SOB.  That dude is a blur.  Jager joked last year that he saw him run by his window in Baton Rouge and I wouldn't doubt it.  Shiza!  So I endured the good (yardage), the bad (interceptions!), and the ugly (our tackling is ATROCIOUS) to see our Tigers prevail in the end.  Huzzah.  We're 3-0.  Normally that would mean we are ranked but Auburn is going to be the Rodney Dangerfield of the SEC this year.  They get no respect.  Frankly I'm not quite ready to declare victory yet either.  WVU is unranked and although Noel Devine is a candidate to play The Flash in the movie adaptation of the comic book, I am still cautiously optimistic.  Yes Superman, STILL.  I'm glad we won.  Now lets go beat a RANKED opponent, mmmkay?  And speaking of watching from home, what is UP with all the Scientology commercials on ESPN2 during the game?  Uhh, hello Scientologists.  God has this Bible and it's got a BELT and the BUCKLE is in Alabama.  I think you missed your target audience by a few time zones.  Aim your radar at UC Berkley, ok?  The largest campus organization at Auburn (last I checked) was still Campus Crusade for Christ.  So unless you can prove that Jesus was a Scientologist or L. Ron Hubbard was a Disciple, I think your mission is futile.  

As for the other games...USC lost, heheheheh!  I loved Sarkisian's comments at the end of the game.  He answered every question with the same answer just worded differently.  "Our kids played HARD!"  "We won because we played HARD!"  Hey coach, INTERVIEWING is HARD, aint it?  There's this little thing called Media Training, you may want to look into it...along with Lane Kiffin.  So UT bothered to show up for the game but if Monte hadn't been covering for his son's ass with a strong defense (and Tebow needs to get straight with the Lord because he was OFF during that game) UT would have gone down in flames.  I'm just glad UF won because if not, Shug and I might have had to sneak back home because Gator Dad has this amazing Incredible Hulk impression when the Gators don't do well and my puppy is only 6.5 months old.  At the very beginning of the game, Gator Mom screamed like someone was attacking her when the UF player got attacked via facemask.  She was shrieking and startled Dad and I.  Shug had NO idea what do do.  He would jumpup and run to the people when they were clapping and yelling, thinking they were saying "YEY PUPPY!  It must be because I'm good!" and when we were screaming at the television he was cowering trying to figure out what he did wrong.  So cute.  I'm glad no one in our household yelled, "Go Dawgs!" during the UGA game (it was more like, "KILL THE HAWGS!") because that would be really confusing to him and frankly thats pushing it.  We're supportive to a point.  After that...don't expect me to sing your fight song or anything.  NYC Bro doesn't even return the favor and cheer for Auburn or UF so frankly, this is a one sided support system anyway.  But I digress...so UGA looked ok against Arkansas but wow, that game had me worried for a bit.  Where was the defense?  On either side?  Seriously.  That was slightly alarming.  We have more games to play and the even more alarming was the fact that Arkansas is showing some progress.  #$%^!!   Finally, do I even need to mention how badly Alabama beat the ever living bejesus out of North Texas?  Damn Nicky Saban...that was harsh.

Getting serious now...

I will admit one thing impressed me a LOT so far with this regime change.  Gene Chizik has apparently been making the team recite the Auburn Creed.  He's been emphasizing it as their foundation as a team and as their tie to the university.  For those of you who know me, you know how much the Creed means to me and to many of my fellow Auburn alums.  Its the basis for our philosophy and a way to live.  I learned it the first time I stepped foot on campus and lived it for the rest of my time there.  I have it framed and hanging in my office.  The one thing that always annoyed me when one of our football players was interviewed in the past was that they didn't seem to know about Auburn.  This university that loved and supported them...and they had no foundation.  They didn't know our traditions.  They didn't know what it was to be an Auburn Man or an Auburn Woman.  And what I heard the players saying again, and again...and again...was that they all had the same vision.   They were all on the same page.  When Kodi Burns wasn't named as the starting quarterback, he didn't cause division on the team.  Instead, he stood up and made this statement, "The coaches chose to go in another direction. I worked really hard. I tried to prove myself. Obviously, things didn't work out. But I believe God has a plan for me. They went with Chris. That's a good thing. It's a good thing for the team. I'm 100 percent behind him. Chris Todd is the quarterback and I have no problem with that. It was a great year and a great competition. I really appreciate the coaching staff..."  This article summed it up well, Kodi Burns is the definition of an Auburn Man.  He's a true example of the Auburn spirit and someone who is living the creed.  Thank you Kodi and thank you Coach Chizik for starting to lead our team back to their core values.  Just keep it up!

So on that note...and while there's a lull in the rain so I can go start working on the foundation for my ARK, here is the Auburn Creed.

THE AUBURN CREED

I believe that this is a practical world and that I can count only on what I earn. Therefore, I believe in work, hard work.

I believe in education, which gives me the knowledge to work wisely and trains my mind and my hands to work skillfully.

I believe in honesty and truthfulness, without which I cannot win the respect and confidence of my fellow men.

I believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid, and in clean sports that develop these qualities.

I believe in obedience to law because it protects the rights of all.

I believe in the human touch, which cultivates sympathy with my fellow men and mutual helpfulness and brings happiness for all.

I believe in my Country, because it is a land of freedom and because it is my own home, and that I can best serve that country by "doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God."

And because Auburn men and women believe in these things, I believe in Auburn and love it.
-George Petrie (1945)

....now some folks in the Auburn Athletic department would have done well last year if they had remembered some of the key points above.  Ahem...

What a dreary, rainy, bleh morning.  Its been like this all week.  Poor Shug has been going STIR crazy all week because he hasn't been able to get out of the house and exercise.  Last night he got to run a little bit with one of our neighbor's dogs and play laser with Molson Light for a few minutes but other than that, nothin'.  They close the dog parks during weather like this and don't re open them till after they dry up.  Its been raining for almost a WEEK y'all.  So I've made an executive decision and Shug and I are headed to the Peachtree City Puppy Paradise.  Gator Dad and I will watch the UF vs. UT game together and then they will head off to one of their golf group gatherings (yes, we are official yuppie scum, no we will not apologize) and I will park my butt on the couch and watch the games tonight.  Shug will run his furry little ass off in the backyard and everyone will be happy.  

Now, onto the GOOD stuff.  FOOTBALL!  I do apologize for not having my picks posted for two weeks of the season but frankly, life happened.  Even Dawg Dude missed a week already this season with his weekly report (Bless!  He's back after a few years hiatus and I am SO happy to receive the report each week!  He's part of my inspiration for writing my picks into the blog so if you enjoy this, thank him.  If you hate this, blame him.  I'm just sayin', its all his fault.).  Ok...so lets get this out in the open.  I am still not happy with the Auburn administration's ass hattery from last fall.  They treated Tommy Tuberville poorly and I am still disappointed in how it all went down.  That ain't right and y'all know it.  But I cannot hold this year's team responsible for the sins of others.  So Gene Chizik...we're cool.  I have put my big girl panties on.  I have dealt.  I will not hold grudges against you.  I am cautiously optimistic.  I think the choices for the coaching staff have been good.  I love me some Tracy Rocker.  Gus Malzahn has already inspired Jager to spontaneously shriek, "WAR DAMN MALZAHN!" a few times.  I'm still holding my opinion regarding our team this season in reserve until we play a serious opponent.  Which isn't tonight since West Virginia isn't ranked.  And on that note, onto the games!!

Auburn vs. West Virginny
Two years ago, this would have been a marquis match up.  I'd have been down on the Plains tailgating with Auburn Sis and texting Jager and the tailgate boys to save some bourbon for me.  This year...we have two un ranked teams who are both rebuilding.  West Virginia is still reeling from the shock of being dumped by Rich Rodriguez and it was an UGLY break up (aren't those lawsuits still pending?  Seriously, LAWSUITS.).  The hillbillies are handling this like the Hatfields and the McCoys.  Meanwhile, the Auburn divorce with Tommy Tuberville is supposedly amicable and both sides say nothing but NICE things about one another but hello, we're Southern.  We know the drill.  You can say, "Aren't you sweet?" to someone but Southern Belles are like verbal ninjas and their sweet comments are verbal throwing stars.  You barely see it coming and then you've been cut to shreds.  So the Auburn divorcees are all being civil.  We all mind our manners.  But we all know the real story.  So here we are, having a group therapy session between the lines on the Plains.  Only instead of sitting in a circle with bad coffee telling one another our stories, Auburn and West Virginia are lined up across the field from one another ready to take out their anger management issues on each other.  Giddyup.  So who is gonna win this match up?  Well lets see, West Virginia is the state where Auburn Sis and Mr. ECU were living in purgatory and at their most miserable.  We called it "West-BY GOD-Virginia" and they couldn't wait to get out of there.  Their Walmart people watching stories were epic and hillarible.  I still remember a hysterical phone call from Auburn Sis from the Walmart in West Virginia trying to count the teeth of her fellow patrons.  The numbers were LOW.  :::cue the banjoes:::  So who is going to win this game?  Do you even have to ask?  The Auburn team has made a decision to put the past behind them but the West Virginian's are still a bit bitter and lookin' back over their shoulders and reachin' for the family shotgun.  I'm looking forward to seeing this match up tonight.  I still don't think this is the signature win that Auburn needs to prove they are not down and out.  But its a start.  Besides, WEST Virginia is a directional school. 

:::pauses to stare at what the hell Desmond Howard is wearing on Game Day.  WTF Desmond?  I don't even have High Def and the combination of patterns in his suit, shirt, and tie are making my eyes hurt!  Stripes and checks??  Its a good thing I already think he's an idiot or I'd really be disappointed. Corso thinks we'll win?  Shizzle.  Herbie picked us too?  He may be a grown ass man who still hits on the college aged girls...but of all of the commentators I respect his opinion the most.  I just wouldn't let my friends in the same room with him.  I'm just sayin'.::: 

:::More breaking news - It appears Montez Billings has left the team.  He was already suspended for four games and now he's out.  What say you Auburn fans?  Is this a good thing or a bad thing?  We've lost one of our experienced Wide Receivers.  Damn.:::

East Carolina at North Carolina
Well I still can't make a pick on this one without feeling like I'm supposed to say, "Dribble dribble!  Shoot Shoot!"  Every few years, UNC remembers it can play football addition to playing basketball.  They have a good coach now.  So its only a matter of time before they show back up on the playing field...and they are ranked (unlike Auburn at the moment!).  However, they are playing Mr. ECU's Pirates so of course I'm cheering for the Pirates in this one.  ARRRR Mateys!  ARRRRR.

Alabama v. North Texas
Directional school again!  I find it prophetic that while I took a delightful phone call from Dancin' Queen (love you girl!) Shug decapitated his Elephant squeaker toy.  It won't make a difference in today's game though.  Bama rolls.  *&($#!

Texas vs. Texas Tech
Texas Tech had a good year last year but Michael Crabtree is gone now.  Clearly he didn't pay much attention during CLASS because he still hasn't signed his contract with the 49ers and that is just plain STUPID.  And, to use one of my favorite sayings, STUPID SHOULD HURT.  But I digress.  The Mad Scientist is still their coach but you know what they say, "You don't mess with Texas!"  Yes, I still can't stand the fact that Will Muschamp is their DC but since we now have a regime change at Auburn I'd be holding onto a grudge from a previous adminstration.  I still think he's an asshat though.  I kind of view this "rivalry" as the annoying cousin, Texas Tech, winning the annual family scrabble game once every 10 years.  And he talks smack about it for the other 9.  Meanwhile, the two BIG cousins, Texas and his slightly smaller and still angry about it little brother, Texas A&M, tell him to shut up or they'll put him in a head lock.  And then Texas Tech goes running to their Grandma to tell her his cousins threatened him.  And she tells him to man up because this is TEXAS. 

UGA vs. ArkansASS
So Bobby Petrino has now been the coach at ArkansASS for one full season.  I know we just have to give him some time for his evil spell to settle in and we'll start to see some action in Fayetteville again.  This could be a trap game for UGA but I seriously hope it isn't because Mark Richt is a class act and I'm a big believer in the NICE guy winning (sorry Charlie Weiss...you constantly seem to buck this trend) in the end.  Dawg Dude has pointed out that Fayetteville is the source of the major outbreak of Swine Flu in the South and I have to concur.  So lets get those H1N1 vaccinations done and kick some ass, Bulldog nation!  NYC Bro will be dragging Candy Girl to watch this one, I'm sure.  Welcome to the SEC family honey girl.  Wait till you come down for the LSU game.  Then you'll really be indoctrinated.  Don't let him give you TOO much bourbon.  So UGA wins, as it should be.  The only thing pig is good for is as a tasty treat for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  Heyyyy Georgia Bulldogs, go get you some tasty BACON.  Mr. UGA, Hannibal, Dawg Dude, NYC Bro...y'all should all have a fun time tonight.  Rebel Yell is actually down in Fayetteville right now.  Now that is dedication because that place is in the middle of BFE NOWHERE.  Its almost as bad as Starkville.  

...and finally...

UF vs. UT
HO SNAP!  ESPN just compared Lane Kiffin's smack talk about the Gators to Kanye's drunken antics at the VMAs.  They even have video.  ROFLMAO!!  Lane Kiffin, what the hell were ya thinking?  Are you really THAT dumb?  I don't think you are (but your actions are speaking very LOUDLY right now) so I am going to chalk your original comment about beating UF in your opening press conference (emphasis on PRESS) as a coach at UT as a momentary lack of sanity.  You meant to say VANDERBILT, right Lane?  :::nod your head Lane...just nod!:::  At that moment, Phil Fulmer smacked his forehead and called the Athletic Director and left him a hysterically laughing voice mail.  Something to the effect of, "BWAHAHAHA.  He's all yours now!  Have fun with the big mouthed ass hat you hired.  Time for me to go eat my 2nd breakfast of the day!"  and then he sang Rocky Top at the top of his lungs.  But then Lane Kiffin had another oh-no-he-didn't moment (Kanye, give him a call!  You guys can be BFF for-like-EVARRR!!) and accused Urban Meyer of cheating.  If he'd bothered to read that pesky NCAA rule book he was sent instead of letting the ass sitting on top of his neck do the talking, he might have realized he was in error.  But now he's upset Captain Vengeance and Tim Jesus-Is-My-Co-Pilot Tebow.  Rumor has it that Tim Tebow left Urban Meyer a voice mail telling him to save a few time outs for UT.  While UGA fans might hear that and start to cheer for UT just a little bit (and that moment last year was a 'neener neener' moment of epic proportions) this Auburn Tiger just gets a bit more excited.  I mean I did grow up in a UF household and we enjoyed watching Spurrier run up the score.  So if Urban Meyer unleashes the Gators and tells them to have FUN taking the Vols to the woodshed :::insert other ass beating cliche term here::: I think we can all view it as a campus tradition.  Like Mr. Two Bits.  Who is awesome.  (Which always amused me to no end when Florida fans (who were ignorant of the fact that TWO BITS is a cheer used at most other schools and they don't have a copyright or trademark on it) got confused and accused other schools of copying them.  Y'all just made a silly cheer into a REALLY big silly campus tradition.  Bless your hearts.  Its like the UGA fans who don't know their history thinking that Glory was written AS their fight song.  Or the Auburn girl who thought UGA had stolen the Auburn song, "Glory to old Auburn" for their fight song.  :::sigh:::  You're SO pretty!  Heeere's your sign.)  This week's media coverage has seriously been awesome because EVERYONE is predicting this as an ass kicking but they are ALL going to watch it and enjoy doing the "I told you so!" dance.  I particularly enjoyed reading everyone saying the same thing, summarized, "Its not going to be a matter of whether or not UF beats UT.  Its going to be by how MUCH."  If UT wins this game...it will be this year's miracle.  Since none of us believe that is possible...sit back and enjoy the SCHADENFREUDE, courtesy of Lane Kiffin.  Giggity giggity, lets go watch a pistol whipping of epic proportions.

Sooooo...a few weeks ago I bought a doggie DNA test - The Bio Pet Vet Lab DNA Breed Identification Test - on sale, of course (the sucker retails at $79.99 on Amazon.com) for $35.  I know, Momma Gator would be PROUD.  Of course, she gave me the hairy eyeball when I told her I was doing it but when you are constantly being asked, "CUTE PUPPY!  What IS he???" and you say, "Well, the Vet thinks he's a blah-blah-blah THIS week..." it gets old.  So my urge to shop bargains crossed with my need to KNOW what the hell my dog IS took over.  

The results are IN...and they are soooo not what we expected.

We expected Border Collie mixed with something else.  Possibly Australian Shepherd mixed in there too.  But DEFINITELY Border Collie.  Both Vets and breeders all agreed...he's definitely part Border Collie. 

This is Shug and a Border Collie puppy who could be his cousin:

(Yes, Border Collies can be many colors.)  But Shug is like a leaner version of that guy with less fluff (thank you GOD), only black and white...

-OR NOT-

So here's how this works.  There are levels to the test and the level determines his % range for each breed.  Shug is:

• 20-36% English Springer Spaniel
• 20-36% Irish Setter
• 10-19% Collie
• 10-19% Great Dane (WTF?!?!)
• 10-19% Italian Greyhound
• 10-19% Shetland Sheepdog

Well what do ya know?  The HUMANE Society got a point on the board.  Whereas my Vets?  Me?  All others with eyes in their heads?  We got NOTHIN'.

So Shug is a SpringerSetterCollieDaneHoundSheltie

20-36% Each:


10-19% Each:


"Due to the randomness of genetics :::pauses to look at her Mendel Square diagram::: and the combination of breeds in a mixed breed dog, the physical appearance of your dog may not match any of the breeds found, or may even resemble a breed not detected."  Ok - I can see the English Springer Spaniel, the Collie, and the Shetland Sheepdog.  We knew he was a Collie-ish breed.  Note the spots on the English Springer Spaniels legs and his belly.  Shug totally has black spots on his belly and more and more are popping up every day under his white fur.  The good news?  His top two are gentle, even tempered, sociable, high spirited, intelligent, and affectionate breeds (although he's a majority English and Irish - my dog can drink like a fish and his ancestors hated one another!?).  Two of the bottom four are herding dogs (which he DEFINITELY does - his nipping at my heels as I go down the stairs is particularly annoying when I'm wearing 3 inch heels) and two (the Collie and Shetland Sheepdog or Sheltie) are known for their intelligence and affectionate natures.  The Italian Greyhound and Sheltie are also known for being intensely loyal and very attached to their masters (yep).  But seriously, WHAT THE :::BLEEP::: is up with the GREAT DANE?  I mean really?  He's barely 30 pounds!  Thank you SWEET BABY JESUS its a recessive trait!  But now we know why he bonded with Wild Child and GI Joe's Great Dane so easily when they came into down and we had a puppy play date.  

Ok...gotta go.  Football is on, beotches!  For the record, I'm rooting for Georgia Tech tonight because y'all KNOW I hate the University of Miami with the heat of a thousand suns.  Besides, only ONE, ONE AH AH AH :::channels the Count::: of the Miami fans I know ACTUALLY went to school there.  Every single Georgia Tech fan I know actually went to school there.  Nuff said.  

So I just have an adorable hodge pot mutt of cutie pie puppy.  I'll take it! 

Because seriously...there has been so much asshattery lately.  I got home from Canadian Bacon and Molson Ice's house on Sunday night thinking that the "True Blood" Season 2 finale talk was going to be off the chain.  I mean, hello?  WHAT HAPPENED TO BILL?  The Queen is selling V?  I still want someone to make a giant omelet with the egg...but all anyone wants to talk about is the VMAs.  I get home and Twitter has exploded!!   WTF happened?  Kanye West happened, again.  To poor little Taylor Swift.  Y'all, my baby cousins like Taylor Swift.  She's ah-door-a-bull.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here and then come back and join the fun.  Uhh...hello Kanye?  In one fell swoop you made us all stop feeling the shriveling pity we had for you because your Momma died. And she just rolled over in her grave.  Seriously?  Of all things...jumping up on stage and making a sweet little 17 year old girl (with ringlets for God's sake!  She sings about "Romeo and Juliet" erroneously but still...) feel bad about beating Beyonce in front of MILLIONS of people?  Even Beyonce, who you were "defending" looked appalled by your antics.  You stole Taylor's moment from her.  DUDE, EVEN THE PRESIDENT was overheard calling you a jackass.  :::Tangent:  Gator Dad, I know you're DIE HARD republican and can't stand Obama but even YOU have to agree with the Prez on this.:::  Seriously.  Wow.  Poor Taylor was speechless (who wouldn't be?  I mean, KANYE WEST jumps on the stage with you and its SO exciting, I mean its KANYE, he of the preppy yet urban black preppy meets hipster (Blipsters!  Look it up!)  and then he tells the world that you didn't deserve to win?  How do you respond to that?  I'd have been speechless too!) and she goes back stage and cries.  Thank GOD for Beyonce who, class act as ever, invited Taylor back up onto the stage to have her moment when she, Beyonce (who was the top winner of the night, hello) won yet another award.  Beyonce explained what a big deal it was when SHE was 17 years old and up for a VMA and she wanted Taylor to have her moment.  Brava, girlfriend.  Brava.

For those of you who have Twitter, type Kanye West in the search engine.  Hilarity ensues.

But wait, there's more! 

Serena Williams done lost her MIND at the US Open on Saturday night.  It was enough of a moment to get me to wake back up when I was watching Sports Center after I came home from the wedding.  Yes, I do watch ESPN late at night...  So Serena got called for a foot fault, lost it, threatened a line judge and actually stepped towards them holding her racket up , and apparently the penalty is a point...and since her opponent was at Match Point...she cost herself the match and eliminated herself from the Open with a hissy fit.  Brava!!  People were calling the line judge a sissy?  HAVE YOU SEEN SERENA WILLIAMS?  She is like a dude in a skirt.  Don't get me wrong, I admire her athleticism but she is NO JOKE.  Two guy friends of mine went as Venus and Serena Williams for Halloween a few years ago.  They were both seriously built and in VERY good shape.  No one doubted for a second who they were...  If she came at me and told me she'd kill me, I'd pee my pants.  The line judge did their job and called her out for her unladylike unsportsmanlike and generally crappy behavior.  Isnt tennis supposed to be the genteel sport?  Next to golf?  But then again, Tiger is pitching hissy fits all over the place too.  Did I miss a trend?  Is there a memo out there telling people to have a shit fit, it'll help in the long run?

I often wonder why basketball has technical fouls and the foul rules, hockey has the penalty box, soccer has yellow cards and red cards...and football?  Football has stern warnings and penalties assessed after the fact with discipline enforced by biased coaches who half the time won't penalize their star players because they want to WIN.  So I wonder how the football scenery would change if players who are caught CHOKING ANOTHER PLAYER in the pile or who sucker punch an opponent were kicked out of the game or worse, suspended by the NCAA.  You want to act like an asshat? Fine, don't play in our league.  I'm all for it.  Auburn had its share of thugs.  And if they acted like an idiot during a game...I think the referee should have the power to eject them.  Hell, we had a player we called DIRTY.  He needed to go.  I also think the NCAA should have the ability to assess penalties after the fact and if they CAN do this currently - WHY doesn't it happen more often??  They open far too many investigations after the fact (years and years in many cases) and don't take action when action is clearly merited.  I also think that sportsmanship applies to players BEFORE AND AFTER THE GAME.  I'm lookin' at you, LSU.  And you, Miami.  And you, Clemson.  And, and, and...Referees should be able to assess penalties for unsportsmanlike conduct before and after the game.  That way if an offensive lineman from the opposing school climbs on the cheerleader stand in front of the student section of the home team after triple over time and grabs his crotch and then flicks off the students (and almost starts a riot) he doesn't just get away with it by just writing an insincere apology to the student newspaper of the other school (I was a witness to this while in school at Auburn - a seriously classless act by...if memory serves...a UGA player).  The Ref could walk up and assess a penalty...maybe something like a quarter of no play for the next game in the series...I don't know, I'm not on the rules committee (and seriously...they obsess about the play clock and don't talk about stuff like this??) but I think giving the refs a little more power to enforce sportsmanship (and not something stupid like penalizing someone for doing a dance or spiking a ball - come on guys - but serious breaches of etiquette where Kanye's Momma and Emily Post are shrieking from the grave).

I'm just sayin'...

Now Reading:  PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES:  The Classic Regency Romance - Now With Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!  No, I did not just make that up.  Yes, its a real book.  So far Elizabeth and Darcy are real killers...in the true sense of the word.  Mrs. Bennett is still a ninny, and Mr. Bennett has sent all of his daughters to a Shaolin Master of martial arts for training.  Awesomeness.

Shug is now ringing the bells ALL the damn time to go outside.  Its part of the training...but its very annoying to let him out 12 times a night.  They say this phase lasts about a month and then they realize the bells are NOT for fun but for potty.  We shall see.  I had to take the ones off the back door because he'd ring the bells at the front, we'd go out, come back in, clean off his paws...and he'd immediately trot his furry ass to the back door and ring those.  :::woe:::